Children Who Have Been Abused

Published Date: 02 Nov 2017

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Abstract

Counseling children who have been abused is a difficult task for most practitioners. The occurrence of substantiated and reported child abuse has increased drastically since the realization of the Battered Child Syndrome. The world has moved via different phases of public awareness concerning child abuse. Practitioners acknowledge that the prevalence of child sexual abuse, which involves both young girls and boys, is augmenting awareness of all forms of child abuse. Increased shifts in knowledge requires that practitioners understand signs of child abuse, the laws available for reporting child abuse, the treatment needs, issues linked to child abuse counseling and best approaches that fosters appropriate counseling. Given that most abused children are often unable or disinclined to disclose their condition to a counselor, perhaps because of threats from their abusers, this paper discusses the appropriate approach to counseling such children. The paper takes a Christian perspective and underlines the best appropriate treatment and approach to counseling abused children.

Introduction

Counseling refers to the therapeutic link between a qualified therapist and a client. It entails the process by which a counselor and a client work collectively to achieve divergent means to experience psychological, relationships and emotional concerns. Counseling is a simple form that entails the procedure of giving guidance and advice. Counseling provides an objective view to a person in need of help and she/he obtains strategies and insights to facilitate management of the particular situation one is going through. Childhood is a time that requires protection, teaching and nurturing (Thompson & Lenderson, 2010). However, adult caretakers, relatives and other members of the society tasked with protecting children turn against them and abuse them psychologically, emotionally and physically. Abused children usually do not want to disclose their conditions because of fear of threats from their abusers (Tuohimaa, Santtila, Sandnabba, 2009). However, any form of child abuse is a crucial trauma that may hold lifelong effects on the victim. When abused child seek counseling services, counselors must be prepared to evaluate the role the abuse plays in the development of a child and the impact of the abuse to the child (Mart, 2010). A counselor assists an abused person to fathom her/himself and his/her problems. A well-counseled child uses the advice and guidance offered to her to make better choices in her life.

Effects of Child Abuse to a Child

Deb & Mukherje (2011) assert that abused children, particularly those sexually abused constantly suffer during and after the abuse. While some of the emotional and psychological harms are apparent to caretakers or parents some parents or caregivers do not recognize them. Abused children suffer confusion and they adapt mixed up feeling regarding what took place and the reactions of family, friends upon hearing an abused child predicament. Abused children also suffer guilt and some believe that they are accountable for the abuse. They also suffer from shame and they feel worthless. Abused children also become fearful, principally when the abuser threatens them if they disclose their predicaments. Such children become grieved and they begin to see the world as a risk and unfriendly place (Normam, 2012). Abused children, especially those abused by their parents, relations or people they trust as closed friends may begin to mourn the loss of their connection with their abusers. Additionally, abused children sow intense anger in their hearts and this anger may make them turn against other people who they believe failed to protect them. They may also hurt themselves out of anger and they become helpless.

More importantly, abused children suffer depression caused by the trauma following the abuse. Such children are always sad and less playful and they may loss interests in school, friends and other social activities. Depending on the temperament of abuse, and how critical it is, depressive feelings may manifest through sleeping problems, irrational fears, physical complaints, problem in eating and inability to concentrate in school and in other social activities. An abused child may develop fears and feelings that can affect her entire life if the child lacks appropriate and sufficient counseling (Normam, 2012). While people can change, heal and grow themselves, children require help from qualified people. Counseling is crucial when a child experiences betrayal from a person close to her/him. Counseling is also essential to a child who is struggling with the effects of child abuse, or when the family fails to support the child when he/she reveals the abuse.

Counseling Abused Children

The Bible entrust Christians with the important roles of taking care of children. God will hold them accountable for their unfaithfulness in discharging these roles. God is usually concerned with the children’s welfare, "And God looked upon the children of Israel, and God had respect unto them" (Exodus 2:25, KJV). However, when a child experiences suffering, the child may put God’s goodness and love for children in question. The child may also question the role of God in his/her life. In this regard, a Christian counselor can help the child through showing her a dissimilar reflection of God. The Christian counselor should let the child understand that Jesus recognizes his or her painful situation given that he also went through abuse. The counselor should help the child develop a heart of forgiveness, as it is the first step to healing. Forgiveness is general and not an issue of counselors, religious or spiritual factors of forgiveness (Victor & Basyle, 2012).The Bible states that people must forgive for them to receive forgiven. In this regard, abused children must be taught how to forgive in order to prevent anger from consuming them and leading them into sin, "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath" (Ephesians 4:26-27, KJV).

To help an abused child overcome the effects of the abuse, a counselor should help the child build up a rational evaluation of his/her unique character, abilities and skills. The child need help to build up a powerful sense of God’s forgiveness and love. The abused child needs to understand that God’s love for his people and particularly children. By making, the child to understand that she/he is important to God, who created her/him by his own image, fears and helplessness of a child are removed. John 3: 16 is a good encouragement to the child, and it helps the child handle anger and fear towards his/her abusers. Matthew 5: 44, "But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you," helps the child to sow love towards the perpetrators of their abuse. This way the child becomes less burdened with hate and sorrow. However, the counselors must make children understand that child abuse is both a sin in the eyes of the Lord and a crime under the law (Victor & Basyle, 2012).

Issues linked to Counseling Abused Children

There are several intricate dynamics and issues involved in working with abused children. While it is crucial to have a basis in counseling and art skills and theories, it is also equally significant to understand dynamics and issues in order to handle them accordingly (Prever, 2010). Scores of aspects of operating with younger abused children also apply to the treatment of older abused children.

Abused children become inattentive, violent, experiences problems in making friends, experiences regular temper tantrums, fearful and always feel sad or disassociate themselves from activities or people they previously loved and enjoyed. Such behaviors indicate that the child has a problem that requires careful consideration. However, counseling children comes with scores of challenges. For instance, the child may become uncooperative and uncontrollable (Prever, 2010). In this view, a counselor must develop some trust between him/her and the abused child in order for the abused child to open up and disclose her ordeal. The link between a counselor and a child in some ways is reciprocal. A child only develops a level of comfort after she/her has developed some trust. While the counselor should observe a child’s behavior to discover weaknesses, strengths and the problem the child is facing, some highlighted behaviors may mislead the counselor. Moreover, some child creates additional troubles all through counseling when they fail to tell the truth.

When children are handling powerful emotions or intricate issues, they can naturally deflect away form handling their pain or withdraw into silence. In their daily lives, this conduct may be adaptive given that it assists the child to cope with her/his experience. Although such avoidance is a common portion of the therapeutic procedure, it may hinder the success of the counseling process for sometime. When resistant takes place, the counselor requires being cautious not to pressure the abused child to go on with her story (Prever, 2010). In such a situation, the counselor must assist the child in dealing with resistance in a way that that does not put at risk their relationship and in a manner that is satisfactory to the child. The child may sidetrack and prevent anguishing issues hence affecting the success of the entire therapeutic process. However, when a child alters their image, the novel image they adapt may lead them into questioning some of their values and beliefs (Fallon, Trocme, Fluke & Turcotte, 2011). At this juncture, the counselor must support the child in recognizing those beliefs which are self-damaging and replacing them with adaptive beliefs. Even if at some point a child develops self-confidence, she may continue to believe that their abusers and those close to them are bad thereby affecting the completely counseling process and its success.

However, when handling a child who awaits trial or is still in the explorative procedure, the therapist must be very cautious not to utilize leading questions when working with sexually abused children. In a situation like this, unless the child reveals her ordeal to the counselor, it is good for the counselor not to ask specific questions about the abuse thereby leaving any questions regarding the abuse to those directly accountable for the investigative procedure (Fallon, Trocme, Fluke & Turcotte, 2011). A counselor must maintain the privacy of his clients in refusing to take the role of an investigator (Mart, 2010). Counselors are aware of their prominent positions with respect to clients, and they should avoid taking advantage of the trust and dependency of clients. Counselors must make every effort to avoid dual dealings with clients that could weaken qualified verdict or augment the risk of harm to clients. The counselor must remain non-directive and allow the child to go at her or his own pace (Prever, 2010). Suitable limit-setting on destructive conduct needs to be maintained. If the child is still in the investigative phases of disclosure, the counselor should be cautious not utilize art themes which may influence the child. In cases where a therapist counsels a continuously abused child even during the counseling process, the counselor experiences emotional turmoil and it becomes completely painful to work with such a child. In such a situation, the counselor must seek emotional support from peers or a supervisor.

The Best Approach To Counseling Abused Children

However, counseling alone cannot guarantee safety of an abused child. There are scores of professionals engaged in working with abused children. While Children Protective Services personnel coordinate the intervention, medical personnel also need to be included. The professionals include pediatricians who assess the development and growth of a child. Other professionals include public health nurses or physical therapists who work with the family (Tuohimaa, Santtila, & Sandnabba, 2009). If an abused child is taken away from home, the child should be entitled to a foster parent. School personnel and educators are also important members in counseling and assisting an abused child. They monitor the child’s daily progress and safety and they develop programs to enhance the self-esteem of a child as well as his/her cognitive development. In event that an abused child is at risk, a counselor employs a team perspective that guarantees success as opposed to a single intervention of providing counseling.

The major role of counseling to an abused child is to offer a safe place and relationship where the jeopardized development of a child becomes unstuck. Counselors do not replace the required parental attachment, which facilitates the development and growth of a child. However, counselors hold the prospect to assist a child build up a trusting connection with a grown-up. Understanding an abused child requires a clear assessment of the developmental phase of a child and not her/his chronological age (Kuehnle and Connell, 2010). The counselor has the potential to determine adaptations of a child following the abuse besides showing the abused child more suitable means of interacting.

Children discloses during play their traumatic occurrences of their past. The children may also demonstrate their maladaptive conducts which places them at risks of maltreatment. In a counseling association, operating with an abused child calls for scores of methods besides listening and talking. The counselor should ensure the use of unstructured or structured play conditions, music, play and artwork so as to offer a safe means of the abused person to release tension (Fallon, Trocme, Fluke & Turcotte, 2011). Through play, artwork and music, the child can express his/her feelings. Dollhouses and dolls help the abused child to express family issues. Scores of abused children hold no standard play prospects and as a result, they benefit from free plays during the counseling process. Reading stories, role-plays and puppets help a maltreated child in trying novel perspectives to relationships.

Moreover, maltreated children reveal their feelings and situations when a counselor engages them in group counseling. Younger children perform well with growth playgroups where older children profit from activity groupings and treatment-oriented groups Fallon, Trocme, Fluke & Turcotte, 2011).. Groups counseling is essential for sexually abused children because it lowers their guilt, differentness and shame feelings. Group counseling also helps abused children to learn ways in which they can defend themselves from any form of abuse.

Conclusion

Counseling maltreated children is difficult because it can inspire feelings that are more intricate to the counselor. A counselor may become angry with the abused child’s parent or abusers. He/she may develop frustration and sad feeling in the course of the counseling process. However, the main role and focus of a counselor is to protect an abused child from more abuse (Kuehnle and Connell, 2010). The counselor handling sensitive concerns of abuse must seek supervision, consultation and treatment when they feel overwhelmed with emotions. Acknowledging their professional restraints is helpful and counselors should understand the counseling alone is not an effective strategy to protect an abused child. Any productive long-standing intervention requires a rigorous team perspective as well as a community that care to provided sufficient facilities for families in efforts for helping and protecting children.