Parents Of Children

Published Date: 02 Nov 2017

Abstract

Parents of children with moderate and severe disability do not experience augment levels of stress than parents with non disabled child, however the level of stress is dependent on the coping strategies that families used to deal with the stress that they undergoes. Three parents of children with severe disability were interviewed using the F-COPE and a Parental Stress Scale to find out problem solving attitudes that families used and their experience of being a parent which indicated that having a disabled child is not their major source of stress and stress is based on how one accepts stressful events in life. In spite of the differences in reported stress, a parent that has a child with disability uses the same coping strategy to decrease their stress levels. Financial stability is a major cause of stress in any family therefore for one of the parent this has been a stressful and burdensome aspect for caring for her child with disability.Futher research can find will seek to investigate coping strategies for financial stress with families that has children with a disability.

According to the Jamaican proverb "the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world" this proverb reflects the family and how important they are to society. Even though they are important they undergo what is called stress, family stress and Stress with a disability. Stress may be defined as the way one’s body reacts to changes in their environment and family stress are the challenges and reaction that families’ experiences on a daily basis.One of the greatest joy that could happen to a family is bringing a child in this world of joy and happiness. A mother’s wish is for the child to have similar traits and the fathers wish is to have a child that likes the things that he does. Achieving this accomplishment in today society, but when all those dreams are shattered with a child born with a mental, physical or intellectual disability.Do we still have these dream? The answer to that should be yes!

In this aspect of life parents become stress because having to deal with a disabled child and having no family, friends or social support can be very burdensome. The researcher has therefore conducted this research to identify problem solving attitudes and behaviors that families who have children with disabilities make uses of, this is found in the Fcope. Also in this research is the level of parental stress that parents go through, it describes the feelings and perceptions about the experience of being a parent and this information will be collected using Parental Stress Scale.

What is Stress?

According to the Americas Institute of stress, Stress is defined it as "the non-specific response of the body to any demand for change".(Selye 1936) The way that any one reacts to factors around them whether mentally, physically or psychologically may cause what is known as stress. Stress may also be things that cause or pose a threat to one’s life or well being. In today’s society human beings use the word stress as a negative experience if they had a bad day, school is overbearing or if they lost their job, but stress can be all these examples and more, it can also be good because the stress of life will cause an individual to reap great success. Stress is the internal and external factors that affect us on a daily basis, external factors which includes our environments that is home, relationship or difficulties one may face. The way an individual responds or their ability to deal with these external factors may cause what is called good or bad stress. Therefore it is imperative that we deal with our stress of life in a positive way to enhance a good physical, mental, emotional and psychological well being.

What is family Stress?

According to (Boss, 2002) Family stress is defined as pressures or tensions in the family system or a disturbance in the steady state of the family. Families are the most important aspect of society because they provide love support and strength and if the family is stress then automatically the world is stress. There are many factors that contribute to day to day family stress which maybe children, relationships, natural disasters such as fire, earthquake and families with disabilities which would put added pressure on the family. However it is important that we learn how to cope with daily family stress and it be easier to deal with any family crisis.

Stress in Families with Who Have Children with Disabilities

When a parent finds out that their child is diagnosed with a disability, it can be the most stressful time in the family cycle. According to the "Family friendly fun and disability support for families with special needs" parents encounter the normative and transitional life events where families become stressed and depressed with the psychological stressors that are related to the child’s physical safety and their growth and development.

According to research on the scores of Parenting stress Index parents with children with disabilities experience vast more stressful moments than parent’s children without disabilities. Families encounter stressors that are associated with children with disabilities like denial, parental guilt, worrying about the future, financial burden, finding medical services, and the resentment of other family members. The largest section in family stress literature is related to caring for a family member with illnesses or disability (Boss, 2002).To stay at home and be a family caregiver is routinely and highly stressful especially for women who does most of the work in the home with employment. Adults and children with disabilities can sometimes be an overbearing pressure on the rest of the family which may cause disagreement or

depression. The impact of different cultures, divorce, remarriage, recombination of families, other children with disabilities, and sexual preference of family members all may create stress and influence needs of families of children with disabilities (Parette & Petch-Hogan, 2000).

Today’s family is encountered with challenges of caring for their disabled family which may put a hamper on each individual in the family. The everyday demands that children with disability needs will become stressful and often causes family to split up. We can therefore learn that having a disabled child can drive family members apart or into a state of unremitting stress. Families need to understand that regardless of the disability they must be able to cope with the fact that the child will never accomplish the life they hoped or dreamed for, so take the time out to be patient and supportive. It is therefore imperative again that families develop the necessary skills to work together as a unit and work effectively to enhance a positive family lifestyle.

Family Understanding of the Intellectual /Developmental Disorder

Families understanding of a child with intellectual or developmental disorder can be that of distraught and denial .After the overt grief and initial shock then the coping strategies come in place and how the family reacts will depend on varying factors, such as the age of diagnosis previous knowledge on disabilities, the family values and attitudes, parents age and years of marriage and how the family deals with stress in the family. (Boss, 2002). Many familes show flexibility and ordinary senses as well as experiencing emotional pain and stress.While some families find different ways of coping with a child with disability, others resort to conflicts or inappropriate care for the child. Some families may also remain in excessive denial, rejection anger, blame or seeking miracle cures for their child. Siblings cannot cope as adult families so it is imperative that they are educated on the disability for a healthier family life (Lindsey, 2003).

Strategies for Coping with Stress for Families with disability.

According to (Dickman & Gordon, 1993, p. 109). "It is not the child's disability that handicaps and disintegrates families; it is the way they react to it and to each other." Finding a way to deal with the added stresses, minimize them, overcome them – by sharing them – can glue a marriage (and a family) together more firmly than ever."

Families need to find ways to cope with the stress and their disabled child by:

1. Developing a communication cycle- Communication is the passing of information from one person to the other, therefore families need to ensure that they share their emotions and feelings with other members so everyone will be on mutual grounds. It is also important that all family members are able to relate to the child with disability and be able to meet the needs of the individual.

2. Education of family members- Education is the key to help persons cope with an individual with disability. While caring for a disabled child other siblings and family members may feel left out or jealous so it is important that you educate other family members to develop a form of acceptance and understanding. Parents should also encourage family members to educate themselves and read literatures that are appropriate to the disability.

3. Support Groups- Support groups can be very valuable to husbands and wives who may find other husbands and wives in the same predicament, this will allow them to feel a sense of belonging and not left alone. They will provide quality experience and valuable insights on what they are going through and family situations.

4. Families should build their own self confidence and focus on the positive side of stress rather than the negative.

5. Practice good anger management when dealing with disability and stress and learn to endure changes because it does happen in one’s lifetime.

Social Support

According to the National Center of Accessibility, Social Support is important in dealing with stress and essential that families find strategies to cope on a daily basis. A social support is one such way of helping to cope; it is decisive to help through stress and hard times. A social support includes peers, families and friends.

It contributes to an individual psychological well being

It gives a sense of belonging- Spending quality time with peers, families or friends will allow an individual to not feel lonely.

It increases a sense of worth- This will actually allow someone to build their self esteem and know that they have contributed to someone else’s happiness

Parenting is not an easy task especially having to care for a child with disability, it comes with challenges ,therefore professional who works with parents should assist them with the child’s social and emotional factors they may face on a daily basis and provide emotional support for these families. With all the research I have done I would like to ask two important questions.1) Why do some families endure stressful circumstances while others fall apart?Does a parent with more children have more stress?

Methodology

The researcher used a convenient sample to conduct her research. A convenient sample is a method of accumulating data by selecting person who are available, in close proximity or easily accessible. The participants in this research were three married females between the ages 30 and 40. Female ( a) has four children and the female (b) and (c) has two children. These parents were all employed with one of the female (a) earning a $90,000 salary , the second female( b) earning $105,000 salary and the third female (c) been paid $11,000 forth nightly .The children of these parents were diagnosed with autism and down syndrome.

Measures (Instrument)

A parental stress scale and a FCOPE were used where families were are asked to agree or disagree with items in of their distinctive relationship with their child or and to rate each item on a five-point scale: strongly disagree (1), disagree (2), Moderately disagree(3), Neither nor disagree (4), and strongly agree (5) Higher scores on the scale indicated content. A parental stress scale was used to do a research on the level of stress that parents face when they have children with a disability. A FCOPE is a scale that has 30 items that describe a variety of coping behaviors that individuals may use in times of stress or crisis.

Procedures

The researcher went around the Mico University College to find parents who has children with disabilities, the researcher introduced herself and explained her area of option and what her research was about. The data was collected by reading the parental stress scale and the Fscope to the different families .The researcher also tick the correct response made by the family members. According to guidelines of research, Parents were given a consent form to sign, which had the participant and principals signature.

Results and Findings

Table depicting Parental Stress Scale

Parent

Scoring

Parent A

36/90

Parent B

57/90

Parent C

36/90

A Parental Stress Scale was done to find out the level of stress or perceptions that parents with a disabled child encounter. A survey was done between three parents and the researcher found out that the three parents enjoys spending time with their child. It was also evident in the survey that parents see their child as an important source of affection. They all indicated that they are happy in the role as a parent and there is nothing they wouldn’t do for their child if it necessary. All parents had different views on the fact that having children has been a financial burden. The parent that got the least salary strongly agreed that having a disabled child can impose strong financial burden, while parent (b) that got the second least amount of salary was undecided, and the other parent that received the highest amount said having a child is not a financial burden. Two parents (a&b) disagreed with the fact that the behavior of their child is often embarrassing or stressful, while the other parent strongly agreed. All parents strongly disagreed that having a child with disability is not the major source of stress in their life.

Table illustrating Family Crisis Oriented Personal Evaluation Scale(F-COPES)

Parent

Scoring

Parent A

97/150

Parent B

120/150

Parent C

115/150

The F-COPES is an instrument that the researcher used to collect data of attitudes and behaviors that families who have children with disabilities utilized. All parents believe that they can solve problems or difficulties by believing that they are strong. They also accepts stressful events as a fact of life and believing they can handle their own problems was also strongly agreed on. However parents (b & c) had different attitudes in that two parent believed that participating in religious or spiritual activities will help them to cope, while the other parent strongly disagreed with religious activities can her to cope .All three parents shared different( moderately disagree, moderately agree and strongly agreed ) views that if they wait long enough, the problem will go away. The table above indicates the coping strategies that parents exploit to assist them with on a daily basis ,each parent got had an average of 70 and over for their scoring which indicated that they know how to cope when caring for a child with disability.

Discussion

After conducting this research, the researcher has found interesting data on the perceptions and behaviors that parents use on a daily basis with their child. Based on findings the researcher can now come to a conclusion that families accepts stress as a fact of life and in doing so they believe they can handle their own problem, Although literature stated that parents should seek advice from persons in other families who have faced the same or similar problem these parents did not think this was a good way to deal with their stress, they believe that having faith in God or a higher power will solve all problems.

Based on the researcher’s findings, she has found out the answers to uncertainty questions .Why do some parents endure stressful circumstances, while others fall apart? Are all parents with two or more children having more stress? Parents who continue to endure stressful circumstances are those who use adequate social support plan as a way of resolving stressful moments. According to literature social support groups are very important because it builds parents confidence levels and gives them a sense of belonging; instead parents face their problems head on and do not see the need to share their stress. According to the researchers survey done on three parents the parent that had four children and more went through vast more stress than those that had two children and a disabled. Financial circumstances also play a vital role in the stress levels for parents. The parent that received the least amount of pay was seen as the most stressful of all the others. This is supported in literature in that parents undergo stressful moments when there is lack of financial stability. Although literature states that parents who has a child with disability experience more stress, the researchers survey did not support this idea, however this was a small sample of three parents using a convenient sample .In my survey it was quiet evident that parents found meaningful ways to cope and forget that their child can be stressful. It can therefore be said that parents who has children with disabilities do not experience life differently than those who do not have a child with disability. According to further survey conducted financial stability is a major factor that can cause family members to become overwhelmed by stressful events.

Recommendation

The researcher would recommend that an early intervention would be the key for parents to understand that not because they have a child that is moderately disabled they will have to experience life differently. Parents should visit places of fun with their child and accept them for who they are. The researcher would also like to recommend that parents become knowledgeable about their child with disability and find interesting ways for the child to have a normal life; therefore life would become less stressful for them. Teachers should also understand what parents go through so they can be tolerant towards families that have children with disability. Social support groups are also imperative in helping parents with disabled child to cope and for them to include their child in all aspects of life.