Men Cheat On Partner For Sexual Reasons Psychology Essay

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23 Mar 2015

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Abstract

According to most of the literature available, men cheat on their partner for sexual reasons (Wilson, Mattingly, Clark, & Weidler, 2011). The aim of this study is to gain an in-depth understanding of the reasons that lead men to cheat by taking a men's point of view. The sample consisted of six male participants who are in a committed relationship and who presumably never cheated. The participants were never asked whether they had cheated or not. Data collection consisted of semi-structured interviews, which were audio recorded. This data was then analyzed by Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. Findings showed that men's reasons why other men cheat on their partners are related to emotional justifications rather than sexual one's. Moreover most of the opportunities presented were thought to be found at the workplace, with certain employment positions thought to lead more to unfaithful relationships. Certain social interactions were though to lead towards infidelity. Furthermore all the participants believe that certain personality types are more likely to get involved in extra-dyadic relationships. Some limitations need to be acknowledged in this study. Findings might have been different if I have not interviewed men who come from similar educational backgrounds, Future research might want to consider the perspective of men who cheated.

Keyword: infidelity, male's perspective, emotional dissatisfaction, opportunities

Dedication

I would like to dedicate this dissertation to all the people who supported me throughout this process, especially to my family who always believed in me.

Acknowledgements

I would like to express my utmost gratitude to my supervisor Ms. Mary Ann Borg Cunen for her support and guidance in the course of my research.

I would also like to thank all the participants for sharing their ideas and beliefs with me.

Finally, my special gratitude goes to my family and my boyfriend for their love and support.

Contents

Abstract 3

Dedication 4

Acknowledgements 5

Chapter 1 8

Introduction 8

Rationale for the study 8

Motivation for the study 8

Background to the study 9

Objectives of the Study and Research Question 9

Chapters Overview 10

Chapter 2 11

Literature Review 11

Biological Perspective 11

Evolutionary Perspective 12

Social and Cultural Context 13

Attachment Theory 14

Parental- investment model 16

Relationship Infidelity and Personality Traits 16

Motivations for Infidelity 17

Dissatisfaction with Primary Relationship 18

Ego Bolstering 18

Education 19

Religious Affiliation 19

Types of Affairs 20

Gender Differences and Attitudes 21

Types of Infidelity 22

Conclusion 23

Chapter 3 24

Methodology 24

Research Design 24

Sample 25

Data Collection 25

Procedure 25

Research Instruments 26

Data Analysis 26

Ethical Considerations 27

Reliability and Validity 28

Conclusion 28

Chapter 4 29

Results and Discussion 29

Primary Relationship Dissatisfaction 29

Opportunity and Personality 32

Social interactions 36

Conclusion on the research findings 38

Chapter 5 40

Conclusion 40

Implications of the Research 40

Limitations of the study 41

Recommendations for Future Research 41

Conclusion 42

References 43

Appendix A 51

Appendix B 52

Appendix C 53

Mistoqsijiet 54

Appendix D 55

Appendix E 56

Appendix F 61

Chapter 1

Introduction

Infidelity is defined as a severe interpersonal transgression in which one or both of the partners engage in extra dyadic relationship, going against the rules of monogamy and exclusivity (Drigotas, Safstrom, & Gentillia, 1999). Researchers on infidelity identify two types of betrayal - sexual or emotional. Sexual infidelity refers to the act of sexual activity with someone else other than one's partner, while emotional infidelity involves developing an emotional connection with another person apart from the committed partner (Wilson et al., 2011).

Rationale for the study

Research has been carried out to shed light on the motivations that lead men to extra dyadic relationships. A number of factors have been found, mainly depending on the relationship type and on factors related to the individual (Treas & Giesen, 2000) However, other than the wish for sexual intercourse, I have not found a complete presentation of the reasons that lead men to infidelity.

Given the lack of research about infidelity from a male's point of view, I am interested in conducting this study to understand better a male's perspective on the reasons that lead other men to cheat. Moreover, most of the past research has been carried out quantitatively, while I would like to obtain in-depth perspective through qualitative research.

Motivation for the study

The reason for choosing this research topic stems from a personal interest, as a close friend of mine has been cheated over by her husband. I became curious about the reasons that men give for their infidelity. I used to believe that men cheat mainly to satisfy their sexual desires. Thus, in view of this, I decided to research this topic further in order to understand a man's perspective about infidelity.

Background to the study

Infidelity is one of the most cited reasons for divorce. It is also the most damaging to the individual, since it may cause emotional distress (Wilson et al., 2011). The betrayed person may suffer harmful consequence, these affecting him both on a personal and relationship level (Boekhout, Hendrick & Hendrick, 1999). Brown (1991) states that infidelity has always existed and will continue to exist. Even though the majority of couples disapprove of extramarital relationships, statistics indicate that there is a high percentage of married couples who

engage in unfaithful relationships (20% to 40%) (Peluso & Spina, 2008).

Moreover, according to Brown (1991), "affairs have little to do with sex. They are about fear and disappointment, anger and emptiness, they are also about the hope for love and acceptance"(p.13). Past researchers have related infidelity exclusively to extramarital sexual intercourse, but through the research available today other acts of betrayal are being considered, like intimate emotional infidelity, online infidelity and secret relationships (Zola, 2007).

Objectives of the Study and Research Question

I am interested in researching males' ideas and beliefs regarding infidelity, with particular emphasis on the perceived perception of what are the reasons that men give for other men's infidelity.

Using data collected through opportunistic sampling, my study focuses on males' who are in a committed relationship and who presumably have never cheated, even though they were never asked if they ever cheated, and examine the reasons why they think other men cheat. During the interviews an in-depth understanding of men's infidelity and the causes leading to it were explained. The following research question will be addressed: What are the perceived reasons men give for other men's infidelity?

Chapters Overview

The aim of this chapter was to present a brief overview on the literature available on the topic as well as to provide an outline of the rationale for choosing this topic, the objectives and the research question of this study.

Chapter 2 will present the respective literature about infidelity, in particular that concerning male infidelity. Chapter 3 will provide a detailed explanation about the methodology used for this study. Chapter 4 will provide the results of this study, comparing them to the literature from previous research. In the final chapter I will present the study's limitations, its implications and will also make some recommendations for future research.

Chapter 2

Literature Review

This chapter assesses the theoretical perspectives behind the motivations that lead men towards unfaithful behaviour. It is fundamental to have an appropriate definition of what infidelity means, as it gives a better understanding about the reasons behind infidelity. Infidelity used to be defined as extramarital sexual involvement, but nowadays the meaning is more inclusive. A more appropriate definition of infidelity proposed by Zola (2007) is "(1) an act of an emotional and/or physical betrayal characterized by behaviour that is not sanctioned by the other partner; and (2) that has contributed to considerable, on-going, emotional anguish in the non-offending partner" (p.26).

Biological Perspective

Research has been carried out to see whether any correlation between an individual's genetic component and infidelity exists. It was found that men with relatively high levels of testosterone show prolonged interest in sexual activity outside their current committed relationship, also tending to have "a greater number of sex partners and a higher number of extra-marital affairs" (O'Connor, Daniel, & Feinberg, 2011, p. 65). With respect to women, levels of testosterone during the menstrual cycle indicate an increased possibility in engaging in infidelity (Welling et al., 2007 as cited in O'Connor et al.).

Moreover, Garcia et al. (2010) found that individuals with genetic variation of the dopamine D4, called 7R +, were more prone to infidelity or promiscuity. In their research, 50% of the participants with 7R + reported being unfaithful when compared with 22% of participants who did not exhibit this genetic variation. Garcia further notes that his findings are not cause-effect related, since people without these genetic variations can also commit infidelity.

In another study conducted by Cherkas, Oelsner, Mak, Valdes & Spector (2004) on female twins about the correlation between genetic influence and infidelity, demonstrated that heritability in sexual infidelity exists (41%). Even though biological factors were proven to be relatively correlative with infidelity, social and culture influences should still not be ignored as they influence attitudes towards infidelity (Cherkas et al.).

Evolutionary Perspective

Evolutionary theorists have argued that infidelity has always existed in one form or another among human couples and research has addressed a growing number of issues surrounding this phenomenon (Fricker, 2006).

For both females and males, reproduction and sexuality are the driving force for mate selection and relationship formation, most of the time acting unconsciously within the person (Hill, 2008). According to Trivers, (1972, as cited in Buss, 1995), females have evolved to be more selective in their choice of mating partners since they are the ones who invest more in their offspring, so they exert greater selection pressure. In fact women are less likely to sleep around (Buss, 1998) while males evolve to be more competitive with same sex members to protect themselves from cuckoldry [1] costs (Kuhle, Smedley & Schmitt, 2009). Women are oriented towards long-term relationships while men prefer short-term relationships, showing less selection strictness (Buss & Schmit, 1993).

This lack of austerity allows men to have a wider range of sexual partners, therefore having higher availability alternatives. In a study conducted by Stone, Shackelford and Buss's (2007), results demonstrated that when there are more females in a society, males lower their standard to further their offspring. In fact, according to evolutionary theory, males are more likely to cheat for reproductive success while woman cheat to find a superior mate. Furthermore, Drigotas and Barta (2001) suggest that if one of the partners does not perceive the relationship as rewarding, they tend to leave the dyad and move elsewhere.

Mating strategies are time consuming, so after successfully attracting a mate, males adopt different retaining strategies (Kuhle et al., 2009). Since males cannot be sure of their paternity (Buss 2000 as cited in Sabini & Silver 2005), they might be afraid to raise a child who is not biologically theirs (Hughes, Harrison & Gallup, 2004) so males might be endowed by genes that make them react to sexual infidelity. Moreover, because maternity is always certain, females do not perceive sexual infidelity as a threat because they are not going to invest in an offspring which is not biologically theirs. It is the emotional engagement with another female which however triggers jealousy in women, as they fear abandonment (Sabini & Silver).

Social and Cultural Context

According to Brown (1991) an increase in affairs has to do with "moral breakdowns in our society" (p.9). Others blame aspects like opportunity, physical separation (Glass & Wight, 1992), sexual liberalization and the changes that came along with women's emancipation. Human behaviour is shaped through socio-cultural factors, hence to understand better the reasons behind infidelity one should also consider outside influences (Brown).

With the economic changes that have taken place in recent decades, families have faced drastic changes in their daily lives. Couples used to work together on farms, but today both work long hours having little time for each other (Brown, 1991). Social context gives more opportunity to engage in infidelity. The workplace gives the possibility to get closer to someone else (Treas & Giesen, 2000; Wiggins & Lederer, 1984). Glass states that 46% of unfaithful wives and 62% of unfaithful husbands who visited her clinic had an affair with someone who they met at work (Brown). Moreover jobs that require personal contact put the person more at risk of infidelity (Treas & Giesen).

Biosocial theory is an alternative to the evolutionary theory proposed by Wood and Eagly (2002) to explain infidelity. Women and men engage in different behaviours according to the social roles associated with their gender. These roles are attributed to physical differences. Costs and benefits from choosing a particular mate depend on social roles, and will be socially transmitted between cultures. Since males are unable to reproduce this gives them greater power over women.

According to Charles, (2002 as cited in Agius, 2010), "monogamous relationships are unhealthy because they block the natural instinct of humans" (p. 16). Schmookler & Bursik's (2007) research concluded that males perceive monogamy as a sacrifice, whereas females perceive it as relationship enhancing.

Nowadays a lot of couples are opting for cohabitation instead of marriage, but according to Dolcini et al. (1993 as cited in Treas & Giesen, 2000) the prevalence of infidelity amongst cohabiting couples is higher than in marriages since they invest less in their union and face less costs when having to leave the relationship.

Attachment Theory

Attachment theory is another study of evolutionary theory to explain emotions children experience when separated from their primary caregiver (Donovan, 2010; Hill, 2008). Bowlby, found that the first few years of a parent-child relationship are decisive in developing emotional attachment, this resulting from a secure and comfort state with their caregivers. Through the emotional attachment formed with their caregivers, children develop what Ainsworth and colleagues (1978, as cited in Hill) called 'internal working models' that will help them to "understand relationships and react to them emotionally throughout life" (p. 285). Furthermore, the attachment style with the caregiver will determine an individual's personality component and will influence also future relationships (Donovan).

Hazan and Shaver (1987) focused on the parent-child relationship and the effect on romantic and sexual relationships during adolescence and adulthood. They found that those who experienced a secure attachment with their parents tend to experience satisfying committed relationships which are stable and durable. On the other hand, those with an anxious-ambivalent personality style enter romantic relationships more quickly but are also prone to ending them quickly. Individuals who experienced an avoidant attachment style are more likely to avoid any involvement in a romantic relationship. Bartholomew and Horowitz (1991, as cited in Hill 2008) proposed a fourth attachment style, 'dismissing attachment' and this with reference to individuals who prefer to be more independent and not having to rely on others.

According to the adult attachment theory, the type of emotional bond experienced with the caregiver is expected to occur when it comes to emotional bonding between adults (Fricker, 2006).

Bogaert and Sadava's (2002, as cited in Hill, 2008)) study on young adults found that individuals who score higher on anxious attachment are more likely to engage in infidelity (especially for women). Similarly, in Allen et al. (2008) study, men with dismissive attachment styles and women with preoccupied attachment style tend to have a large number of partners outside their primary relationship. Moreover, Blow and Hartnett (2005) found that women who have preoccupied attachment style and men who have a fearful attachment style are more likely to cheat.

Parental- investment model

According to Trivers (1972, as cited in Buss, 1998):

Parental investment can be defined as any time, energy, or, effort expended to aid the survival and reproduction of one offspring at the expense of other forms of investment, such as effort devoted to intrasexual competition. (p. 21)

Since parental investment can be costly, females need to be selective with whom to engage sexually. Sex differences in reproduction leads to different fitness strategies. For males, mating with different women puts them at a reproduction advantage to safeguard their genes and pass them on to the next generation. On the other hand, women are limited in reproduction, hence they need to protect themselves and their offspring by choosing a mate with high genetic qualities (Hughes et al., 2004). In fact, women are more attracted to males who possess good genes and who are caring and ready to commit resources for their offspring (Hill, 2008). Women also tend to give greater importance to mates who are economically stable and socially dominant. Conversely, men prefer younger, healthy, and more physically attractive women (Yeniceri & Kokdemir, 2006). As a matter of fact, males mostly value the waist-to-hip ratio and the body mass index, as these are associated with 'youthfulness and attractive women, thought to be indicators of health and capacity to reproduce' (Hill, p.362). In fact women are more intimidated by opponents who are more physically attractive, while men are more threatened by rivals who have strong social status and stability (Hill).

Relationship Infidelity and Personality Traits

In a study carried out amongst fifty-two nations, using the Big Five personality traits, a relationship is evident between different personality traits and relationship infidelity (Schmitt, 2004). Four traits appear to be related to sexual behaviour; extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness and neuroticism. Exhibiting low levels of agreeableness and conscientiousness is associated with infidelity and impulsive sensation- seeking (Orzeck & Lung, 2005; Schmitt).

Barta and Kiene (2005; as cited in Blow & Kelley, 2005; Wilson et al., 2011), found that attitudes toward uncommitted sexual relationships are good predictors of infidelity, such that people who have a favourable attitude towards infidelity are more likely to cheat. Additionally, those who report being unfaithful in romantic relationships tend to be uncooperative and lack trust (i.e. disagreeable), disorganized and unreliable (i.e. unconscientiously) which is likely to lead to infidelity during the first four years of marriage (Orzeck & Lung, 2005; Schmitt, 2004). On the other hand, a Machiavellian personality, psychoticism and psychopathy which are rooted in low agreeableness and low conscientiousness are strong predictors of high sensation seeking (Schmitt).

Eysenck (1976, as cited in Schmitt, 2004) further found that extroverts tend to have multiple partners, are more sexually active and engage in sexual intercourse at a young age. They are more likely to be unfaithful because of high libido or due to the "need to raise their habitually low levels of cortical arousal to a more comfortable level" (p. 303) in order to overcome boredom (Orzeck & Lung, 2005). Since they are always in need of new stimulation, they lack commitment investment (Drigotas et al., 1999).

According to Buss and Shackelford (1997 as cited in Orzeck & Lung, 2005) couples who have similar personalities are more likely to be satisfied with their relationship, while dissimilar personality characteristics could decrease satisfaction, leading to infidelity.

Motivations for Infidelity

Many researchers have examined the reasons for extra relationship involvements. According to Glass and Wright (1992 as cited in Boekhout et al., 1999), there are four classes of infidelity justifications, these being sexual, emotional, love (which entails falling in love and receiving attention), and extrinsic motivations.

Even though men and women give similar justifications for their betrayal, research has shown that some sex differences do exist. For women, relationship dissatisfaction is a higher contributor to infidelity, while for men factors like sexual incompatibility and lack of communication lead to infidelity (Roscoe, Cavanaugh, & Kennedy, 1988).

Dissatisfaction with Primary Relationship

People in committed relationships expect certain needs to be fulfilled by their partners (Boekhout et al., 1999). When these needs are lacking, they seek them outside the primary relationship. The investment theory (Rusbult, 1983) explains that cheaters perceive themselves as being more pleasing, exploited and taken advantage of, so they would look for appreciation in extra relationship involvement. Conversely, when they feel that their needs are being met they tend to be faithful (Orzech & Lung, 2005).

Research shows that relationship dissatisfaction is a high contributor to infidelity (Blow & Kelley, 2005; Brown, 1991; Glass & Wright, 1985). Furthermore, dissatisfaction with a primary relationship increases the desire for extramarital relationships, whereas Cuber and Haroff (1965, as cited in Glass & Wright, 1977) state that affairs are not exclusive to bad marriages but may also occur in good marriages.

Among those that engage in extramarital sex, women tend to be more dissatisfied with their relationship than men (Blow & Kelley, 2005; Brown, 1991). For women, the primary motivator to extramarital sex is emotional dissatisfaction (Glass & Wright, 1985) while for men it is related to sexual dissatisfaction (Brown). Poor communication and unresolved marital problems are also related to infidelity (Brown).

Ego Bolstering

Pittman (1989 as cited in Brown, 1991) assigns "complete responsibility for an affair to the infidel and views the partner as a victim" (p.21). Men are likely to commit extramarital sex due to low levels of self-esteem, hence exhibiting feelings of insecurity. In fact, Eaves and Robertson- Smith (2004) found that the lower a man's self- esteem is, the most likely he will be unfaithful. In a relationship where men perceive their masculinity as being threatened, they tend to engage in an affair (Chircop, 2008).

Moreover anger and revenge could be a motivator leading to unfaithful relationships. In this case, the choice to hurt back a partner would be a conscious one (Cachia, 2007).

Education

Studies in evaluating whether a correlation between education and infidelity exist or not vary. Treas and Giesen (2000) acknowledge that individuals who are highly educated tend to be more permissive towards sexual values and infidelities (Blow & Hartnett, 2005). In a study conducted by Atkins et al. (2001 as cited in Blow & Hartnett) graduate participants were 1.75 times higher to engage in extramarital relationships than those with a lower education. These researchers also state that this finding is significant amongst individuals who are divorced.

Religious Affiliation

The great influence of Puritan values on American and later on European cultures contributed to less tolerance towards sexual betrayal as it came to be viewed as morally unacceptable (Scheinkman, 2005, as cited in Zola, 2007). Even though some researchers like Blumstein & Schwartz, (1983, as cited in Blow & Hartnett, 2005) state that there is no correlation between attendance at religious services and infidelity, other studies report that attendance at religious services leads to lower rates of infidelity (Treas & Giesen, 2000). Liu (2000) suggests that it might be the case that couples who attend religious services might be exposed more to the condemning messages of extramarital affairs. Moreover, their social network might be tighter, hence allowing them more to adhere to social norms (Blow & Hartnett). In a study conducted by Amato and Previti (2003, as cited in Allen et al., 2008), religiosity played a great role in whether to engage in infidelity or not. In fact "higher religiosity can inhibit infidelity due to mechanisms such as less permissiveness attitudes' (p. 244). In another study, Azzopardi (2011) found that couples who practice religion are more likely to be faithful, while low religiosity is correlated with infidelity.

Amongst the Maltese society, Catholicism is highly viewed and great respect for the doctrine's stance of low-tolerance towards infidelity still exists. However, things have changed since Tabone's study, which dates back to 1987, where the majority of his sample participants declared that they would "not be unfaithful because it is against God's Commandments" (as cited in Cachia, 2007, p.6). More recently, Abela, (2000) has stated that in today's society, the Christian religion has little influence on affairs. Even though religion might not affect infidelity, still it can prevent infidelity to some extent.

Types of Affairs

Brown (1991) recognizes that different types of affairs exist; in fact she identifies five. The conflict avoidance affair takes place when individuals are afraid of speaking up when they do not agree with their partner because they want to be seen as good persons and fear being abandoned. Others seek an affair because they are afraid of getting intimate with someone. This type of affair is known as the intimacy avoidance affair. Sexual addiction affairs exist among men who indulge themselves in sexual activity to numb inner pain. In the case of the split self affair, both the spouse and the adulterer put the needs of others in front of theirs. Contrary to the sexual addict affair, here it is the marriage that feels empty and not the individual. Usually the affair is passionate, and serious. The last type of affair is the exist affair. Brown, describes these individuals as "conflict avoiders at heart" (p.41). Both partners are aware that their marriage has finished, but still the adulterer justifies his action to leave the marriage for the affair instead.

Gender Differences and Attitudes

A lot of research has been carried out to identify the incidence rate of affairs between males and females. However a simple conclusion cannot be reached because it depends on age, primary relationship type and the type of extra dyadic relationship (Hill, 2008). Even though the majority of married couples expect a monogamous relationship and condemn extra dyadic relationships (Allen et al., 2008), still between 20% to 40% of all couples at one point in their life, engage in infidelity (Peluso & Spina, 2008).

Several authors have concluded that men engage more in unfaithful relationships and are more permissive about extra-dyadic sex than women (Hill, 2008; Treas & Giesen, 2000). However, Margie Scarf (1987 as cited in Brown 1991) points out that 55% of married men and 45% of married women engage in unfaithful relationships. Due to the increasing number of women who work, opportunity to engage in infidelity is increasing as well (Larson, 1988 as cited by Brown). Besides, Atwater (1982, as cited in Brown) explains that there is a higher rate in affair participation amongst young women than men. Larson (1988 as cited in Brown) still recognizes that there is a gender difference when it comes to affairs because females consider infidelity to be more serious than males.

In a local context, Cachia (2007) carried out a study to highlight both differences and similarities in infidelity amongst males and females. Results revealed that both sexes considered infidelity to be wrong yet still engaged in it. Another study was conducted by Agius (2010) to investigate if there are any sex differences when it comes to infidelity. Even in this study, results showed no significant difference between genders when it comes to being unfaithful.

Glass and Wright (1977) recognised that there is a relation between attitudes toward infidelity and behaviour, especially for men. More favourable attitudes towards infidelity are associated with greater predictions towards the likelihood of engaging in sexual infidelity (Treas & Giesen, 2000; Wilson et al., 2011). Blow & Hartnett (2005) assert that attitudes toward infidelity may also depend on prior sexual experience. Premarital sexual experiences are correlated with extramarital affairs; in fact, Atwater (1982 as cited in Brown 1991) states that the more experience an individual has the greatest the likelihood of him being unfaithful.

Types of Infidelity

An affair can be sexual, emotional or both (Brown, 1991). Sexual infidelity refers to sexual activity with someone else outside the primary relationship while emotional infidelity refers to the attention and romantic love channelled towards someone else besides the long-term partner (Shackelford, LeBlanc & Drass, 2000).

Men perceive sexual infidelity as being more distressful and unacceptable, whereas women are more upset when it comes to emotional infidelity. This difference is explained by the evolutionary perspective model because it reflects the challenges our ancestors faced in reproduction (Treger & Sprecher, 2011). Buss and his colleagues (1992, as cited in Boekhout et al., 1999) found that 60% of men will be more distressed with sexual infidelity, whereas 83% of women are more distressed with emotional infidelity. Women believe that men engage in sexual activity without any emotional attachment, so when they fall in love women perceive this type of affair as more distressful. On the other hand, men know that women may fall in love without engaging in sex and that they will have sex only with the one they love, so they perceive sexual infidelity as more distressful (Treger & Sprecher). Men mostly view extra dyadic relationships as having no consequences on committed relationships since they are more likely than women to distinguish between sex and love (Boekhout et al).

Conclusion

From the literature review presented, it can be noticed that differences between males' and females' motivations and permissiveness to engage in extra relationship behaviour exist. The following chapter will outline the methodology used to elicit the findings of my research.

Chapter 3

Methodology

The research question for my dissertation is: What are the perceived reasons men give to other men's infidelity? Interviews were used as a research tools and Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis was used to analyse the collected data. This chapter presents the research design employed for this study. This is followed by a discussion of the sample chosen and a detailed outline of the tools used for data collection and analysis. An emphasis on ethical considerations, research validity and reliability is also discussed at the end of this chapter.

Research Design

In order to gain a better understanding of the reasons that lead men to cheat on their partner, I have opted for a qualitative approach. Further, qualitative research is concerned with the quality of the phenomenon being studied (Langdridge, 2004). Therefore, I decided to apply Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA) as it allowed me to understand better men's perspective on why other men cheat. For the purpose of my research I did not use focus groups as it would have been hard to find participants who would openly divulge their experiences since the topic is rather sensitive. Additionally, they would be worried that they might be asked if they have themselves have cheated since they do not get to see the questions before hand.

Through IPA, participants offer the researcher a clear understanding of their feelings, thoughts and beliefs, giving as many details as they want (Reid, Flowers & Larkin, 2005). Further, IPA gives the researcher the opportunity to enter into the participants' life, by taking an active role, and by trying to interpret the participants' experience (Smith & Osborn, 2007).

IPA is an approach that is strongly idiographic and concerned with detailed analysis of each individual's beliefs in order to come up with a more general statement (Smith & Osborn, 2007). Thus, it was the most suitable methodology for the purpose of my research question.

Sample

Since I was interested in studying male's perspective in individual interviews, I believed that six male participants would give me sufficient information. An opportunity or convenience sampling method was used to recruit participants. I adopted this method because I wanted to avoid selecting participants who have themselves cheated in order to protect their feelings and elicit any hurt emotions.

Furthermore the only critirias for this study were that men had to be in a committed relationship and who presumably never cheated, even though they were never asked if they have cheated or not. The ages of the participants ranged between twenty-five and thirty-five years. This increased the likelihood that the participants were in a mature relationship.

Data Collection

Interviews are considered to be the best way of collecting detailed material; in fact "interviews have always been a valuable method of data collection in social psychology" (Langdridge, 2004, p. 46). Consequently, in my research, I used one-to-one semi-structured interviews, in order to collect information from my participants. This type of data collection does not rely completely on the interview guidelines (Langdridge, p. 50). It enables both researcher and participant to engage in a dialogue whereby prepared questions are modified depending on the participants' response (Smith & Osborn, 2007). A semi-structured interview enables the collection of more personal, rich and in depth information.

Procedure

My first interview was a pilot interview to make sure that the questions were understandable and to determine whether they answered the research question. The pilot interview was then included in the data analysis. Potential participants were presented with an information sheet (Appendix A) sent by email to provide them with a detailed explanation about the type of research I was conducting. Interested participants were free to choose the interview setting and the time they wanted the interview to be conducted. In this way they felt less nervous and more confident to express themselves, since they were in a familiar environment. All the participants were asked to sign a consent form (Appendix B) before recording any data

Research Instruments

For the purpose of my study I used interviews and audio recording as research instruments. A semi-structured interview guide was used in order to ensure that the conversation would remain flowing. The questions were both developed through and supported by the literature review and with the help of my tutor, to ensure that the interview questions were comprehensive of all the relevant information. In addition, the questions were formulated in an open-ended way to give the participants the opportunity to express themselves more openly.

Data Analysis

By choosing IPA the meaning that participants give is central and thus, the aim of the researcher is to understand these meanings rather than to measure the frequency (Smith & Osborn, 2007). The researcher has to engage in an interpretative approach and remain as close as possible to the participants' meanings.

The interviews were then transcribed verbatim and later on analysed by IPA. In order to capture the real meaning of the participants' opinions, the interview transcripts were re-read several times to identify the most salient themes. Significant notes and comments about the participants were written on the left margin, while themes and sub-themes were written on the right margin. In the next stage, themes were structured by reducing irrelevant ideas or if they did not have enough data to support them, while I made it a point not to change the participants' meaning. In this way, the major themes were identified and put in clusters, dividing them in superordinate and subordinate groups. Once the themes were clear I presented them in a summary table (Appendix C), which represent similarities amongst participants.

Since all participants preferred to conduct the interview in Maltese, I translated all the quotes I used in the results and discussion section in the English language (Appendix D).

Ethical Considerations

An ethical approach is the most important consideration to take in any research study (Langdridge, 2004). The researcher has the duty to inform his participants about the nature and purpose of the research and provide them with a detailed outline of what is going to occur during the interview. I sent an information sheet about the research study to all the participants where I explained the aim of my research and what was expected from them. I also made it clear that they were not obliged to accept and that they were free to withdraw from the research at any time. Furthermore, I also explained that the interview was going to be audio recorded and the only persons that were going to read the transcripts were the tutor and myself. I also assured them that the original recording would be destroyed once the research is terminated.

Before the interview I briefed them again about what was going to occur during the interview and reminded them that if they were not comfortable with continuing the interview they were free to stop at any time.

Once the participants decided to participate in the research study, they were presented with a consent form with all the details about the study, and they signed it as confirmation that they understood what their contribution to this research study was going to be.

According to Langdridge (2004), "confidentiality and anonymity are two of the most important ethical considerations in social science research" (p. 366). It was clearly communicated to the participants that any information obtained during the interview was to remain confidential. Moreover, to protect the participants' identity and guarantee anonymity, I gave each participant the pseudonyms of Mark, Chris, Luke, Paul, Tom and Phil. Any details that could lead to identifying any participant were removed and eliminated.

Reliability and Validity

When conducting research it is important to make sure that the findings are valid and reliable (Langdridge, 2004). To establish validity in my research process I used peer reviewing. Two of the participants were contacted again and presented with the major themes that emerged from the interview to get their feedback (Appendix E). Multiple cross-checking of the interview transcripts was also carried out to ensure reliability. I compared my findings with the relevant literature review and I corroborated these findings with quotation extracts from the interview to enhance research reliability. Additionally, to ensure a high degree of reflexivity I evaluated constantly my role as researcher and my personal reflexivity

Conclusion

This chapter aimed to provide a detailed explanation of the research tools used for this study. In the following chapter, I am going to present the findings obtained from interviewing my participants. This will provide a better understanding of the reasons behind males' infidelity.

Chapter 4

Results and Discussion

In this chapter I will be presenting my findings and compare them with the relevant literature. After transcribing all interviews and performing cross-case analysis, a table (Table 1) was presented with the final master themes and subthemes.

Primary Relationship Dissatisfaction

Emotional dissatisfaction in the relationship. Most of the participants perceived infidelity to be related to both sexual and emotional betrayal. However, they believed that other men who are in a committed relationship cheat primarily because of emotional dissatisfaction. Even though there were three of the participants who said that infidelity had to do mostly with sexual activities, they still valued emotional satisfaction over sexual satisfaction.

"…infidelity may be caused due to work stress and from stress caused by the bills that one has, so there will be more reason for arguments flaring up and if that person goes out and finds a sympathetic listener that person is seen more as a friend, which ultimately may lead to infidelity." (Chris)

According to a number of studies, men tend to cheat on their partners for sexual reasons including wanting more sexual partners and more frequent sex (Blow & Hartnett, 2005; Boekhout et al., 1999). Glass and Wright (1985) found out that relationship dissatisfaction is mostly related to emotional infidelity, but it is usually associated with female infidelity. Interestingly enough, when they were asked which type of infidelity is most difficult to forgive, almost all the participants gave equal importance to both sexual and emotional infidelity.

"Sexual infidelity is perceived to be worse, but maybe the person who did it, did it just for pleasure. But I think one has to worry more with emotional infidelity, because if you are cheating just for the fun of it you will go back home and forget about it, while in an emotional relationship it is different." (Paul)

However, the literature that I found claims differently, with "men finding it more difficult to deal with sexual infidelity and are more likely to end a relationship due to sexual infidelity" (Wilson et al., 2011, p. 65).

Lack of communication in the relationship. Communication is perceived to be a key element for every participant. In fact, they explained that in order to have a healthy relationship, couples need to communicate with one another. It is important to talk about everyday concerns and apprehensions as they might end up feeling more comfortable expressing themselves with someone else other than their partner. Eventually this connection will lead a man into the arms of someone else.

"I believe that lack of communication could lead you to cheating on your partner, because maybe with someone else you would have a higher level of communication than you would have with your partner "(Chris).

"… it could be as well that because of today's lifestyle, where both spouses work, they do not get to meet a lot and discuss their problems, with the consequence that the man would find someone else that would understand him… maybe on the workplace." (Mark)

Previous studies and most of the literature that I found, does not support the idea that men cheat on their partner because there is a lack of communication, with the consequence that the couple will start growing apart. However, Roscoe et al. (1988) found that men did identify lack of communication as justification for infidelity. Moreover, Brown (1991) claims that "poor communication and unresolved marital problems are linked to affairs"

(p. 17), reiterating that men's decision to engage in unfaithful relationships depends on marital satisfaction.

Lack of attention from the partner. Participants mentioned lack of attention from their partner as one of the reasons for engaging in extra-dyadic relationships. Men value highly the importance and appreciation demonstrated by their partners. They explained that if their partners are too absorbed by their work or, busy schedules, the probability is that they will grow apart. It is not true that in order to be happy they need to be sexually active, but they need to feel emotionally connected.

"….depends on the type of relationship one is in, if one is not getting enough attention it can lead him to making mistakes." (Chris)

"….there could be a lot of reasons why a man cheats, for instance… let's see… maybe he is not getting enough attention from his partner, maybe he is having a lot of arguments with his partner…" (Tom)

In their studies of hypothetical infidelity, Boekhout et al. (1991), Glass and Wright (1992) and Roscoe et al. (1988) found that men gave more sexual justifications while women gave emotional justifications. Contrary to these results, in their study involving actual cheaters, Feldman and Cauffman (1999 as cited in Fricker, 2006) found that men also give emotional justifications. However there are not enough studies to support these findings.

Relationship boredom. Not all men seek something new and exciting, but a number of men cheat on their partner because their relationship falls into a routine. Three of the participants mentioned that men look for something much more exciting, challenging and novel. They referred to boredom not just from a sexual point of view, where they look for an exciting adventure, but they also considered the emotional aspect where the couples no longer enjoy doing things together. They declared that it is important for a couple to interact with other people, go out and 'spice' things up in order to keep the relationship from becoming monotonous.

"…it could be that he will have got used to the person, so he would be looking for something new." (Paul)

"…. I think that if the relationship becomes routine, there is more reason why somebody would cheat." (Phil)

Brown (1991), argues that the person sees the extra-dyadic relationship as a new venture, something more exciting. Moreover, Schmitt (2004) found that individuals who have an extrovert personality tend to look for new stimulations to overcome boredom. Boekhout, et al. (1999) found out that sexual reasons like sexual boredom, sexual excitement and variety were associated with men. They tend to have more partners in order to keep their arousal level high (Blow & Hartnett, 2005; Schmitt).

Opportunity and Personality

Workplace. In the opinion of the participants most of the affairs start at the workplace, since persons spend most of their time at work. In fact the six participants claimed that the workplace is the place where a man is more able to get close with someone else. He will start feeling more comfortable sharing things about his life; he also might find it easier to confide with his colleagues about work related problems as they will understand him better. Eventually this bonding will make them closer, resulting in an affair. Moreover, three of the participants (Chris, Phil and Mark) believed that in their opinion office related employments lead more to infidelity, while the other three participants gave other different views on which type of employment is more susceptible to infidelity.

"…it can happen anywhere but I think in offices it is more likely, because you are closer, you are always near each other …the other person gets to know you better, while if you are in a factory you meet only during break time. In an office you will be more in touch, by phone, e-mails…" (Phil)

"…if you work in a hotel where one always meets up with the same persons, at one point or another there will be some form of temptation, and the more opportunity for a man to cheat." (Paul)

Blow and Hartnett (2005) state that over time there has been an indication that employment type influences infidelity. The workplace offers a number of possible encounters, and some jobs provide greater opportunities than others for engaging in unfaithful relationships. In their study, Wiggins and Lederer (1984, as cited in Blow and Hartnett) also found that almost "one-half of their samples who engaged in infidelity were involved with co-workers" (p.221). Furthermore, persons whose jobs require them to travel abroad are more likely to have a number of partners (Treas & Giesen, 2000).

Occupational power. In the opinion of the participants certain occupational positions permit men to engage in more extra-dyadic relationships more. All of the participants agreed that there are some occupational positions, like managers, which attract the opposite sex more, hence allowing for a higher possibility of cheating.

"…if you are in a certain position of power or demonstrate this , even if is not really the case that your way of living is a bit posh… if you own a nice car and things like that, it could be that you would have more chances of being unfaithful, and to face more temptations". (Mark)

"I think that certain women fall for a person's power. If for instance he is a manager it makes a difference than if one is a clerk. So I believe that they will be more flirty because I think certain people are attracted to money". (Tom)

"… the more the person holds a high position, one with more responsibilities and which requires spending more time at work than with his family [….] it could be that the power one has could intrigue that certain woman, maybe a secretary who holds a lower position, so the fact that she managed to go out with someone who has that power at work would make her excited." (Chris)

It is interesting to note that five of the participants believe that it is the woman who would be attracted by the male's position and not that men would use this same power in their favour to have more opportunities to engage in extra-dyadic relationships.

Liu (2000) found that employment status and income are correlated with sexual infidelity and opportunities amongst men. In another study conducted by Lammers, Stocker, Jordan, Pollmann & Stapel (2011), it was found that there is a correlation between professional power and infidelity. These authors state that the connection between professional power and infidelity increases the self-confidence required to attract other partners. Moreover, according to the evolutionary theory, women are more attracted to men who are economically stable and who hold a dominant position, since they are considered as being more able to provide for them and their offspring (Yeniceri & Kokdemir, 2006). On the other hand, men tend to grasp every opportunity presented to safeguard their genes and pass them to the next generation (Hughes et al. 2004).

Affairs are an escape from problems. Some persons feel that they cannot cope with relationship problems, so they find it easier to start a new relationship instead of confronting certain issues with their partner. During the interview, all the participants pointed out that infidelity depends mostly on the person's personality. In their opinion, other men cheat in order to escape from their problems instead of dealing with the real issues and those who look out for less complex relationships.

"… the more time passes the harder life becomes and the more problems arise. There are those who face their problems and others who look for other ways. And it can be that during the relationship you face certain problems that you were not expecting, and which could lead to infidelity". (Mark)

Brown (1991) argues that the adulterer is the one who is mostly dissatisfied with the relationship. Furthermore, she claims that "couples who cannot talk about their differences and disappointments may use an affair to get out from under a blanket of controlled amiability"(p.47). Brown, identified five types of affairs; conflict avoidance affair, intimacy avoidance affair, sexual addiction affairs, split self affair and exist affair. Each type of affair holds a different justification for engaging in extra-dyadic relationship. However, participants' justifications for other men's infidelity do not reflect any of Browns' types of affairs. Moreover, Brown argues that affairs do not carry the everyday worries or pressure that marriage holds.

Extrovert and introvert personalities. According to the participants' opinion infidelity depends mostly on a person's personality. However, they did not believe that there exists one particular type of personality which is more likely to lead to infidelity than the other. Two of the participants believe that those who have an extroverted personality may engage more in adulterous relationships because their personality allows them to interact with others more.

"..may be if you are quite out going and more self-confident, so it makes you outspoken and being more confident and close with others." (Chris)

However, the other six participants believe that even introverts, who tend to be reserved and shy, cheat on their partners. Participants' opinion is that infidelity depends more on the person's character, and how strong he is not to yield to temptation and how much he respects his partner.

"…at the end of the day both (extroverts and introverts) can do it. If they are shy they might be reserved but then in time they might go out a lot and they will end up cheating on their partner. Those that are more outgoing I fear less." (Phil)

"…having a more confident personality the easier it will be for him because he will have a high self- esteem, but then if a person is going through a rough patch and he is shy, he might have a couple of drinks and be fine and then do whatever he has to do." (Paul)

In their study, Orzeck and Lung (2005) found that there is a personality difference between cheaters and non- cheaters. Cheaters rated themselves as extroverts, thus they see themselves as more sociable and active than non-cheaters. Additionally, they cheat to prevent boredom and to gain stimulation. According to Eysenck (1976, as cited in Schmitt, 2004) extroverts are more likely to engage in adulterous behaviour than introverts. The former tend to have higher libido than the latter. From the studies I found, researchers did not find a link between introverts and infidelity.

Social interactions

Peer pressure. Some men give a lot of importance to peers' opinion and beliefs. In certain cases, they are even influenced by their peers' behaviour. The participants' view on this issue was divided. There were two participants who reckoned that peer pressure can play a role in initiating an affair. They claim that if a man spends a lot of his time with friends who cheat, he might succumb to their way of life as they will no longer perceive it as something immoral. However, the other four participants sustain that men are not influenced by their peers. They explain that even though his friends might be cheating on their partner, he is capable of meeting up without getting trapped in their way of life.

"…I think that certain cases like these exist (where a man is influenced by his peers)[...] your friends might do all the wrong things and they could influence you." (Mark)

"Yes I believe that a man will be influenced by the way his peers behave, then it depends on you to realize that your friends…emm may not be good company". (Tom)

"..for example at the gym, we are quite a big group of friends, there are three of us who cheat on their partner, but for example the rest do not give it importance, we just laugh at their shenanigans, but we do not behave like them." (Luke)

"…no no I do not believe in peer pressure, because cheating is character-related […] they would almost want to hide something like this and keep it private, they do not tell anybody they have cheated, not even their friends." (Phil)

Not much research is available in relation to peer influence and infidelity. However, Munsch (2012) states that interpersonal interactions lead more directly to infidelity. Also, it has been noted that extramarital infidelity is influenced by peers. In Buunk and Bakker's study (1995, as cited in Munsch) on Dutch college students and community members, it was found that individuals are more willing to engage in extra-dyadic relationships if their peers are involved in adulterous relationships.

Social network. One of the participants emphasised that there are other ways and means how men can meet the 'other' partner. With today's technology, one does not need to go into bars or other places of entertainment in order to start an extra-dyadic relationship. He sustained that it is easy to get close with someone else through the Internet and chatting, as in his opinion this is also considered to be cheating.

"…I think that nowadays there are plenty of things and ways of communicating that it no longer matters if one is shy or not. With today's social network a person is screened by a computer monitor and is free to be unfaithful. If he does not meet the person directly he is cheating on his partner just by chatting." (Mark)

Chat rooms have introduced a new challenge to marital relationships. In fact, a lot of married persons use the Internet to meet people, flirt and engage in erotic conversations (Mileham, 2004). Mao and Raguram (2009) explain that with the introduction of the Internet, infidelity has been exposed a wider explanation. It "includes a romantic and/or sexual relationship with someone other than the spouse, which begins with an online contact and is maintained mainly through electronic conversations that occur through e-mail and chat rooms" (p.302). This cyber affair can either be restricted to computer conversations only, where no physical contact is made or else eventually pursued as a real-life affair. Even though a lot of married couples are divorcing due to online infidelity, yet there are still debates going on whether this constitutes real infidelity or not (Mileham).

Conclusion on the research findings

The main finding of this research was that men do not give sexual justifications for their extra-dyadic relationship. Most studies reveal that males cheat because of sexual reasons, while women cheat because of emotional reasons (Glass & Wright, 1992;Treas & Giesen, 2000), My findings were that men gave emotional justifications for other men's infidelity. Generally participants felt that the main reason for infidelity is emotional dissatisfaction since it is associated with lack of communication in the relationship and lack of attention from the partner, both ultimately leading them to becoming close with another person.

My findings took a different view point from the body of literature that I found. This difference might be explained because I interviewed men about their perception why other men cheat rather. While, if I had interviewed men who had cheated they might have presented different explanations.

.

Chapter 5

Conclusion

Implications of the Research

One of the most important findings emerging from this study is that men give emotional justifications for the reasons behind why other men engage in extra-dyadic relationships. Even though most of the participants associated infidelity with sexual adventures, yet they believed that men do not cheat just for sexual desire. Furthermore, the workplace was perceived as the place where men are most likely to meet 'other' women. Certain occupational positions together with social interactions were perceived to lead to infidelity. However, most of the participants did not believe that personality had anything to do with infidelity.

It is important to point out that these were only perspectives from men who never cheated. In contrast, results might be different if one had to interview men who in actual fact have cheated on their partner.

All the participants interviewed sustained that when a man is in a committed relationship he does not cheat just for a one night adventure. Most of the time he starts a relationship after getting to know the person. When a man feels that he is not getting the same attention as he used to get from his partner, or else if the connection between them is has changed ,there is a chance that, unintentionally, he will start getting closer with someone else.

The literature which I found explains that men cheat mainly for sexual reasons while women cheat because of emotional dissatisfaction (Boekhout et al., 1999). On the contrary, results of this study indicate that even men feel that emotional justifications are the main reason for being unfaithful. In fact, from this study I realized that men value their relationship more than I thought since all the participants claimed that a man will only cheat with someone whom he has built a bonding with.

Limitations of the study

I must acknowledge that there were some limitations in my study. The fact that all the participants had a similar educational background was a limitation. Had their background been different the results of the study may have varied. The participants were also between twenty-five and thirty- five years of age, and it could be that younger or older men would have given different justifications for infidelity.

Another limitation was in comparing my results with the body of knowledge available, since my findings were different from the literature that I found.

However, I believe that this research has extended my understanding of the reasons behind males' infidelity.

Recommendations for Future Research

There are a number of factors that a researcher needs to consider when undertaking this kind of study. All the limitations specified earlier could all be taken into account to obtain better results.

Further research might be to study all the different justifications that men who have cheated give, in order to overcome existing stereotypes. It would also be interesting to study the difference between those who have cheated and those who have never cheated. Further research on adult attachment style and on the influence of s



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