The Wife Of The Second President

Published Date: 02 Nov 2017

Raised to be a compliant and obedient wife and devoted mother, Abigail took on both roles without complaint or regret and remained her husband's strongest backer and closest confidant through every victory and defeat in his long legal and political career, until her death. Nevertheless, Abigail Adams capitalized boldly on her husband's well-known position and power to become a personal advisor, friend, and confidante. The relationship between Abigail and John Adams might have therefore been unique for their times, as the couple cultivated a relatively ‘mind-and-heart’ marriage based on equality between the two. Yet quietly, in her private letters to John, to her sisters, and to a few close friends, she gradually became a critic of 18th century American society and particularly of the role that married women were forced to play in that traditional world; though she understood and did not contradict that her place was with her children in the home being a homemaker. Abigail was resilient and very opinionated but she was willing to change her mind when she understood more about a situation so she was not in the least stubborn or bullheaded.

The course of Adams's life was fairly straightforward. In October 1764, just before her twentieth birthday, she married John Adams, an aspiring young Harvard educated lawyer nine years her senior, and moved about five miles to neighboring Braintree, Massachusetts, the hometown of both her husband and her mother. She and John had four children who reached adulthood: Abigail (1765), John Quincy (1767), Charles (1770), and Thomas Boylston (1772). Adams lived mostly in Braintree, with multiple shorter stays in Boston, until her voyage in 1784 to join John in France and then in England. After their return in 1788, she lived mainly in New York and Philadelphia. She also briefly resided in Washington D.C., she lived there only to accompany John during his vice presidency and presidency, before their retirement in Quincy, Massachusetts. She would later die there in October 1818, shortly before her 74th birthday, survived by her husband and her sons John Quincy Adams, later the sixth president of the United States, and Thomas Boylston Adams.

Lynne Withey’s biography was an excellent portrayal of this amazing woman. I really got a sense of who Abigail Adams was. She believed strongly in the American Revolution and sacrificed much for her country. There were few women (and men, for that matter) who would have allowed their families to be separated for years at a time for the idea of a republic. Her sacrifices were not only separation: loss of income and the running of their farm were burdens that Abigail Adams shouldered as well. I also enjoyed Withey’s writing style and incorporation of Abigail Adams’ own letters into this biography. There may be some who will complain about the Abigail’s misspellings but that was life in the 18th century, and I feel that modern readers should be exposed to original writings. I could also imagine there being some complaints of Abigail Adams’ feminism but it seems to me she was absolutely correct in her opinion. It maybe her conservatism is merely a product of the times she lived in. Though there are today many modern conservative women who do not see a contradiction with believing that a woman’s role is primarily as wives and mothers and still believe in equality and loathe injustice towards women’s rights. So we will probably never know Abigail’s deeper thoughts of women’s rights and their roles in society.

Abigail Adams, the daughter of a Massachusetts minister, is categorized as one of the most influential woman of the American Revolution. In Dearest Friend, author Lynne Withey creates an image of Abigail Adams as a politically driven woman who was influenced by the environment into which she was born and by her gender. What Withey narrated was pretty much a crisp narration of Abigail’s life: who she was, what she did, and the trials she went through. What I learned about Abigail Adams throughout my reading was that Abigail was better known as "Nabby" in her childhood and was a spirited and clever child and somewhat isolated from others because of her father’s position. During those days, education for girls was inadequate but Abigail and her siblings were an exception, they had a more serious education than any other child their age because of her fathers’ position. But even though she had a better education than other girls, Abigail could sense the disadvantage of her gender and devoted herself to an unguided and independent education. Abigail Adams is further distinguished as the first American woman to have the honor of being the wife of one U. S. President and the mother of another. 

This book covered her life very thoroughly and I was fascinated to learn more about Abigail's views on Revolution politics, early immunizations, her family dynamics, foreign politics, the wars, and motherhood. She believed that women should receive an education for the benefit of their homes and families. It really seemed like she and John achieved an oneness in their marriage that many married couples just dream of. I really loved learning over and over again how they respected each other, loved each other, needed each other, and considered each other to be their dearest friend. It was beautiful. I felt that the book was repetitious and dry at times but I honestly think it was just being true to Abigail's opinions by doing so. It was really interesting to see her opinions change, specifically over political parties. It is nice to be reassured that as one grows, matures, and has different life experiences, their opinions will often, or at least can, change.