The History Of The Interpersonal Communication

Published Date: 02 Nov 2017

Bree Van de Kamp is one of the protagonists of an American series "Desperate Housewives". She is an active member of the local Presbyterian Church, supports the Republican Party and is also a member of the NRA. Bree, throughout the series has difficulties. She attempts to maintain a perfect life despite various obstacles such as widowhood, divorce, and alcoholism. Bree is recognized for her perfectionist attitude and her sense of ethic. She looks ridiculously perfect but through the series we realize that her life is not as perfect as she pretends. Indeed her character is recognized as suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Three concepts of interpersonal communication are highlighting through the series, first the interpersonal communication of Bree Van De Kamp, then the relationship deterioration and finally the relationship repair. I will explore these concepts in this paper.

The most important point is her specific interpersonal communication. Bree Van De Kamp is characterized by its bright red hair and perfect skin. She wears conservative clothes, not necessarily fashionable, but that could be qualified such as elegant. Despite her friendly and welcoming smile, she has a haughty and strict expression, and her smile seems not only serene but also confident.

She is a volunteer woman, and has a well-defined idea of what justice and moral are. Whatever the consequences, she follows her vision. Even, she is able to admit her mistakes when it is necessary.

It can sometimes be difficult to live with her because of her high concern for cleanliness and order push to the extreme, but it offers a pleasant living environment for those who live under her roof. She has spent year to become the perfect wife and mother for example, by becoming an excellent cook, and by treating with delicious meals her family and friends.

Bree is also very proud. She did not let walk all over and always wants to be the best in the areas where she excels.

She can both love with those she loves but sometimes very hard too. She does not admit that anyone laughs at her and does not hesitate to fight with her own weapons when she feels threatened. However, Bree is seen as a competent person, knowledgeable and charismatic. She has a high credibility in front of her family and friends. (Power in the person).

She manages her family as she manages her business and is known for his perfectionist attitude and her high involvement for work ethic, which sometimes turns to neurosis and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Whatever happens Bree keeps smiling and keep her head held high and never let her emotions appear. She has developed inadequate interpersonal skills. She doesn’t know how to express her feeling. She uses nonverbal messages to persuade and influence. It not only passes by the way she dresses and the way she brushes her hair, but also by the way she maintains her eye contact, facial expressions and body gestures; "these help you express your concern for the other person as well as your comfort and control of the communication situation" (DeVito p323). She always maintains close distances between yourself and your interlocutor.

It was her mother who taught her from an early age to suppress her emotions in order to nobody can know what she really feels, to never be submitted to a man and keep the control in permanence. According to her mother, emotions have consequences. "Like all communications, emotions and emotional expression have consequences and impact on your relationships in important ways. By revealing your emotions you may create close bounds with others". (DeVito 180).

That cultural teaching-which is the different values, beliefs […] inculcated by relatives and that will influence the way you live (DeVito 56)- has widely influenced the future behavior of Bree.

That cultural teaching has led Bree to deteriorate all of her relationships.

Bree Van De Kamp is a uptight perfectionist housewife who rules all at home with her iron fist. But this obsession with order will cause tension in the home and crumble this beautiful picture of the "perfect family". Indeed, her emotional coldness and obsession with appearance makes her family resent her. She runs up against her husband and children with whom she often shows outdated especially during adolescence. In fact, they do not esteem her anymore and are not grateful. She begins to lose control gradually and turned to alcohol for comfort.

Therefore, this is the beginning of tensions between Bree and her son, with whom she already had authority problems before. She decides to leave him. Remorse overwhelms her and decided to devote herself entirely to her daughter, Danielle, who does not appreciate. Exasperated, she fled the house with her ​​boyfriend. Overwhelmed by so many events, Bree will voluntarily integrate a psychiatric hospital. As we see in DeVito’s book, communicating in a deteriorating relationship involves special patterns and specific strategies of disengagement. You can use de-escalation to reduce the intensity of the relationship.

At this period, Bree has no more self-esteem and increase negative message. The Housewife plunges into alcohol and then attempted suicide. But Renee, believing that her friend Bree has an affair with Ben, follows her and prevent her to put an end to his life. Bree continues to drink and dive into relationships without tomorrow with a man once met in bars. Gaby, Lynette and Susan try to reconnect with Bree to put her on the right path, but she moves away from them always more and more. Even with her ​​friends she did not disclose, and she often judges her friends.

In wanting to take care of everything, Bree become isolated. No job, no husband, little or no more relationship with her children. Her friends helped her to endure adversity, but what about when it is no longer the case.

Finally, Bree try to relationship repair. She will have to overcome her alcohol problem and sometimes-dangerous men who attempt to enter his life because of her sexual liberation.

Bree becomes to be attentive to her problems while she babysits friend’s children, falls asleep after drinking too much wine. Lynette took part to recognize Bree's alcohol problem.

Then, she also fall in love during her psychiatric internment and join the association "Alcoholics Anonymous." Engaged in productive communication and conflict resolution, Bree finally accepts her problems.

A weaker woman may have drowned in her sorrows, but bree got her life back on track. Thanks to her strong desire, she has Recognized the problem by first identify its. What was wrong with the present relationship? And also try to understand her partners’ point of view. "If you wish to save a relationship, you may try to do so by changing your communication patterns" (DeVito 251).

After having accepted her problems, she marries a local dentist, turning her catering and cookbook business into an empire.

She also finished reconcile with her son who doesn’t mind anymore for having been fired by her mother, and everything that could have happened before, they also become much closer than they were before.

Bree who chose to lie to protect her son, finally earned Carlo’s forgiveness for andrew’s hit-and-run, when she led in charge to cover up the murder to protect carlos. She becomes very courageous and this risking behavior have had direct consequences on the friendship between the four women. She becomes closer to her friend. « friendship serve a variety of needs and give us a variety of values, among which are values of utility, affirmation, ego support, stimulation, and security » (DeVito 288) and by finding her complicity with her friends, a close and intimate friendship, Bree get back her self-esteem.

Actually, it is only at the end when she begins to accept herself and understands that nobody is perfect and that nobody can be happy with perfect life, in this way she becomes herself happy. She tries to go back her previous unproductive behavior.

All these relations were dominated by the shell which finally splits.

To conclude, by applying the different steps for repairing a relationship, Bree Van De Kamp has improved her interpersonal competence which is the « knowledge and expertise that others see you as possessing, and the more knowledge and expertise others see you having, the more likely they will believe you" (DeVito 321). She can now lead her new life with the code to be interpersonal competent.