Never Normal My Watermark

Published Date: 02 Nov 2017

Brittanie Daily

Mr. Warren

1st

19 February 2013

Never Normal: My Watermark

My family was never normal. There were always lies and hurt amongst us. I never thought that growing up would be so hasty, and agonizing, like a knife cutting through skin. It was a slap in the face, but it created me. The event where everything changed, starting with my parents’ mistakes.

I was thirteen years old. I never anticipated taking on an adult role so early. My life seemed somewhat normal for living in a broken family. My parents were not secluded like recluse spiders, and our financial stance remained standing. My dad has always had an inclination to dance with monsters. It is as if he is testing life, regrettably, he brought my mother down the same path, laughing all of the way. It all started with the ADD medicine. It was prescribed to my father because of the severity of his disorder. However, this monster medication can be exceedingly harmful to anyone who does not have the disorder, or to people who misuse it with other drugs. My parents, in a financial struggle with six kids, decided to take the long highway to Hell with this prescription drug. Suddenly, I saw a change in them. Bottles of cough syrup lie in a heap right before me. Prescriptions of medicines I hadn’t heard of lie around the house.

My parents had sharp tongues. They fought all the time and the lies piled up. Soon, we were being removed from our home. We moved to the city of Syracuse, and everything subsided for sometime. However, my new school, made me very disheartened. I was the silent new girl with jail bird parents. No body wanted to be my friend; it was as if I was unseen. My depression worsened when I began to see the same changes in my parents as the last time. Crimes such as forging checks and prescriptions were occurring right in my home. History was repeating itself, and we were uprooted again. This time, we lost all of our monetary belongings. The landlord auctioned them off. My grandpa managed to buy some of our clothes back from the auction, but with six kids to provide for, there were not enough clothes to go around.

We moved into yet another home. This home was different, bare. That house did not last long. My parents were finally convicted of the crimes they had committed. My family instantly fell apart. I was left alone in this empty house with my three younger siblings. I had no choice but to make an adult decision. I got our relatives together and we planned our next move.

My sisters, Drew and Autumn, moved in with my aunt Jamie. My other three siblings went with my grandma. I went unaccompanied to my aunt Ashley’s. Our family was torn apart. The move took the utmost toll upon me. I didn’t have any of my siblings. I missed my father. I began to go out with guys that I didn’t quite know. One man changed my view of myself to this day. His name is TJ Kennedy. I remember that name and I shudder each time I reference it. He was a big guy, very lofty, and twice my size. We hung out once and he drove me up on a hillside so we could see the lights of the town. He tried taking advantage of me. Me being a little girl, I could not get him off. I kept fighting, and him realizing that I would not stop, threw me out of his car, away from home. I walked about six miles, aching, bleeding, and psychologically scarred. I remember knocking on that stranger’s door at about one in the morning. That man had a big heart; he saw that I was distraught and hurt. He drove me home, and bandaged me up. I loathed myself. I examined the bruises all over my body. I didn’t see myself. I saw a girl who wasn’t good enough for a man to love. I saw a pain-staked insignificant whore. I cried myself to sleep for continuous nights.

I started battling with my weight. I started starving myself. I believed in my head that if I was thin my dad would come back, and that some guy would love me. I was anorexic for six months, I weighed ninety five pounds. I looked so ailing, but felt great about my sickish bag of bones. No one noticed; no one heard my pleas for help. I was thinning into dust, and my aunt wasn’t around enough to notice. Finally, my aunt saw my poor health and moved me in with Drew and Autumn. My no-nonsense, second mom Jamie, helped me cope with my anorexia. She would not let me wear baggy clothes to hide my body anymore. She watched me eat every meal. Having her there helped me immensely. I am finally a strong, independent woman. I don’t take any nonsense from anybody. I am honest and I am not depressed anymore. Although my parents are not always here, I am still loving life. This watermark in my life stains the pages of my future. I am a fighter now. This horrifying fight in my life has taught me to work hard. I always provide for my siblings. I did grow up too fast, but I am glad. I am thankful that when the monster takes my parents under for a dance again, I will be there for my broken family.