Middle Childhood Erikson Psychosocial Crisis

Published Date: 02 Nov 2017

Personal Biography

Kate Hubbard

Argosy University

Personal Biography

I was born in April 1965 in Yakima Washington, I was the third child born. I was told I was born on the way moving from California to Idaho and my parents were not married. I only remember a few abusive incidents but do not remember much about my life from birth to about age nine. I have had a rough life and I will explain stages in my development along with explaining Erikson’s psychosocial crisis and psychosocial development task at each stage of my development starting with middle childhood..

Middle Childhood

Middle childhood Erikson psychosocial crisis is industry vs.inferiority. The development tasks are friendship, concrete operations, skill learning, and self-evaluation (reference). From age six to nine, I don’t remember anything that happened from six to nine, except some incidents of abuse. My aunt was mad at me for not giving a message and her son waited at school for an hour after a sport practice where she pulled a big chunk out of my hair. When I was nine and in the third grade my older sister 14 acted like my mother who got angry because my brothers and I would run in and out of the house and it interrupted her time with her boyfriend where she grabbed a belt and beatted me to the point that I had welted bruses all over my body. Ths next day at school my teacher must of seen the bruises and called Health and Welfare. That day, I was put in a foster home. My older sister was put in a girls group home. (I never saw her again). . I lived with them for two years and this has changed my life for the better. The family I was placed with was a Christian family, this is the first time I ever went to church. Within this two years I felt alive things that were different than the life I had ever experienced. I started gaining weight; I was no longer a scrawny thin girl that early pictures showed. I had brothers that played with me and not just hit me. We even did things and got into trouble, I remember one time as we were in trouble, I wet my pants because I was scared. I remember going to a family reunion for the first time on my tenth birthday where I got a new dress to wear. In January 1976 my natural mom had twin girls conceived by a person she worked with. In May of 1976 when I was 11 and my sisters were six months, they gave me back to my mom and we moved to Idaho.

For the next six months, my life was not as it was when I was in the foster home. I had to take on the responsibility of taking of my twin sisters because my mom started working the 4-12 pm shift at a plant . I would go to school then all night take care of my siblings’ two sisters, and four brothers (all younger). During this time, there was a special bond between my sisters and myself. My dad did not live with us but outside in a camper, this way so Health and Welfare would considered us left unattended although my dad was always drunk.

I remember I was not happy, I wished I was never given back to my family, not because of the responsibility but because I did not feel loved by my parents.

In early childhood, children learn the capacity to enjoy close peer friendships but it depends the experiences they had within their one families. It depends on their early attachment and discipline approaches (reference).Not all children enter middle childhood with the same social competence(making and maintain relationships with others that are positive (reference).. I did not feel this social competence, I did not have any friends, I did not relate to them mainly because I did not know how.

Early Adolescence

Early adolescence is ages 12 to 18. The psychosocial development is physical maturation and Erikson stage of development they are in The psychosocial crisis: group identity versus alienation (Newman & Newman 2012).

Just like I did not have friends I did not belong to any groups, felt alienated from any groups because I was not the same as others.

In December when I was 12, I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints (LDS). I think more because my grandparents wanted me to; they grew up in the church but did not attend although they believed in it. I attended church weekly and participated in weekly activities. I was in sixth grade and remember I struggled with school and I did not have any friends, not even from church.. Six months later we got kicked out of the home we lived in due to my mom not able to pay rent therefore we had to move to Delco, Idaho, where my dad now lived. My mom moved in with my grandparents so that she can get a ride to work, she saw us only on weekends. Although my dad drank she felt she had no other choice but to have us live with our dad.

For the next year living with my dad was a continuous nightmare. My dad slept in the living room, he made me a room on the porch, and the twin girls slept in a bottom bunk together, and the four boys slept in three bunk beds. At this stage of development ?????????? but I was nightly being sexually abused by my dad. During the day he would be sober (so he can tend the twin girls) until about an hour before I came home from school he would start drinking where at about four he was drunk and continuously beat my brothers with a belt. I had to cook dinner and do dishes while my brothers did outside chores (milk the goat, feed the animals). I still had to care for my siblings because my dad was too drunk. He would sexually abuse me nightly when all the other kids were in bed. I was given "special privileges" if I kept quiet. I got a big birthday party and got to drive his car. I couldn’t tell my mom because I was never given the opportunity to be left alone with her, even when she was home on weekend..

When I was 14 my mom moved us into a trailer home across from her work after I threaten to run away from home after a year of sexual abuse.

Life settled down, although I continued to take care of my brothers and sisters, as she went to work. I still struggled with school and would be told I was dumb and that I should use the "brain God gave me." The harder I worked I still failed classes. I soon became friends to the managers of the trailer park, where we lived. I then felt cared for like I did when I was in the foster home. I began babysitting for them, because they woud help me do homework and my grades improved due to the help I was given. I learned how to cook not just potatoes, and hamburars. I learned to cook: fried chicken, casseroles, meat loaf, and homemade cookies. I was beginning to baby-sit more and more and had my baby sister’s with me. I was never home when my mom was there. In December of 1980 when I was 15 ½ the husband of the family I was babysitting began being intimate with me. He told me that he loved me and this is how you show your love and if I told anyone he said my family would be without a home. Growing-up LDS, being strong in the church I even attended LDS daily seminary. Being taught Sex was wrong and only for marriage I felt guilty about what was happening and knew it was wrong and felt I was going to go to hell and still could not tell anyone or I would be homeless. For six months he continued to have sex with me. On the last time on my 9th grade graduation I told his wife. He denied I and I was made out to be a lyer. My mom did not believe me even though my behaviors changed. I would cry my grades went down again. My family was kicked out of the trailer park as he promised if I told. He later admitted it happen but it was my fault, he said I teased him, and wore skimpy clothing. I began to believe it was my fault because I was curious about sex because in my family we never talked about sex although my mom had most of us children out of wedlock and form four different men. I would ask the manager wife about sex because I heard other girls talking about it at school and I wanted to know what it was. I then I became overly religious, where I loved being at church and would read my scriptures every day.

My mom never gave me the chance to talk about what happened. She didn’t get me counseling even after showing signs of depression and Post traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Some of the things, I did were catching my clothes on fire to die. This was to show I was hurting, but she was so uninvolved, she didn’t realize how bad I was hurting. I would not sleep, when I did would have nightmares, where I would lock all the doors in the bedrooms, decreased eating, and crying. This proved to me I was right that she didn’t love me.

During this stage in life, puberty happens, where many changes take place. For me this was not happening as it was for all the girls at school who talked about it in the dressing room. I thought something was really wrong with me. All was happending is I was gaining weight. Girls in school were now women, I was depressed that I was less of a women..

??????

For the last three years of school I was very depressed and I continued to do poorly in school. I didn’t have any male friends because of the abuse, afraid of being hurt. I didn’t have friends among my youth group except one. The book talks about those who have friends have higher self-esteem, less pro-social behaviors, and are less lonely (Newman & Newman 2012).

I was neither of these I had poor self-esteem and stayed away from peers and I felt II was rejected. I did not know how to make friends. Peer rejection can be traced to the influence of parents (Newman & Newman 2012).

I did not develop a healthy self-esteem. My parents didn’t do things to help me think positively about myself. I thought my parents didn’t view me as special because they weren’t affectionate not tell me I was good at things, and didn’t appreciate the things I did, and never said I was important. I was constantly told I was stupid, because of my bad grades in school. This caused me to continue to think less about myself and I didn’t care. I didn’t have two factors contribute to high self-esteem; doing well at things and think highly of myself.

The environment I was raised in was never positive or happy. I had parents that I never trusted. Raising children is the most important family function. How the family structure is determines how their children develop. The parents are to care and nurture their children (Newman & Newman 2012).

My parents didn’t represent stable aspects of prenatal behavior neither in my childhood nor adolescence. I was never hugged or told I was loved. Her focus was more on her animals, not me or my siblings. The parenting style of my dad was authoritarian, "high control, no warmth" (Newman & Newman 2012).

I had to do what he wanted me to do NOW without questions. My needs didn’t matter to him. I had car privileges taken away when I didn’t do what he wanted. On the other hand my mom was uninvolved, "no warmth nor control" (Newman & Newman 2012).

She didn’t always provide our physical needs. There were several winters we were without heat to keep us warm, where I spent a lot of time under blankets.

My mom and dad’s parenting style affected my developmental path in many ways. One study concluded that children of parents that are authoritarian like my dad; has poor social skills and low self-esteem and those who are uninvolved like my mom children perform poorly in many areas (Darling, N, 2008

Late Adolescence

This stage of development is ages 18-24, Erikson Psychosocial Crisis: Individual Identity Versus Identity Confusion, and some of the development tasks are; autonomy from parents. gender Identity, Internalized morality, and career choice (Newman & Newman 2012).

Three days after I graduated, I moved to Utah, I wanted to get away from my family as fast as possible. I wanted autonomy from my parents, did not want to live under their control and make all my decisions. At this point in my life I was not interested in relationships of the opposite sex. I was able to live up to my religious values and was able to tell the difference between right and wrong (Internalized morality) where I wanted to go on a mission. I worked at fast food establishments for two years until I was 21 and knew this is not what I wanted for a career choice and needed a new direction for my life.

In June of 1986 at age 21 I went to Houston Texas for 18 month LDS Mission. I felt this is the change I needed in my life because my life was going nowhere up to this point. In January of 1988 I returned back to Utah and still did not know what to do. I registered for school at Salt Lake Community college to get my associates. School was hard and I once again became depressed. I

was tested and diagnosed with a learning disability. I qualified for accommodation, where my grades have improved. I graduated with a grade point average of 3.5 and I again did not know what I wanted to do.

Between late adolescence and early adulthood when I was 23, I started a seven year battle with Anorexic and Bulimia. Newman & Newman (2012), ? that adolescence during puberty suffer with eating disorders as they begin to develop breast and body shape. I was heavier than most my peers in high school and hit puberty later than others where maybe this is why I had an eating disorder in later in life. I thought I was fat and didn’t want anything to be like my mom especially, "fat." I wanted to form an identity different than my parents (Newman & Newman 2012).

I struggled with, where I starved, and then binge purged cycle where I used laxatives and purged after I ate. I went from 150 pounds to 96 pounds and I still felt fat. I was hospitalized in 1995 when I was 30. This helped put my life back into perspective without an eating disorder.

I started to get my life back together where I volunteered in a recreation department working with elderly. I enjoyed this where I attended a program to get licensed as a Recreation Therapy Technician. I got a job in this field for a couple of years and lost my position due to not being able to keep up with the paper work and time management skills.

Early Adulthood

Early adulthood is age 24-34, the developmental tasks is exploring intimate relationships. Erikson psychosocial crisis is intimacy vs.

isolation Their skills relate to social roles, life course, and fulfillment theories (Newman & Newman 2012).

I was trying to learn to trust and have healthy relationship with the opposite sex. After getting fired from the job, I finally got a job working at Maverick in Salt Lake City, until I could find something better.. I loved it for the most part because I was in a management position. One night when I was 32, one of the male employees wanted to get together and came to my apartment. Once there an experience happened that turned my life for the worse. I felt something was wrong when he was in my bathroom where I asked him to leave. He did not and he went against my will and raped me, then left. The next day I did not go to work because I could not deal with seeing the employee where I quit my job without notice. For two weeks I sheltered myself in my apartment and did not tell anyone. Once I did no one believed me and thought I was making it up, I did report it to the police but was thrown out because there was no proof. I felt so horrible of what happened where I quit going to church and started drinking alcohol which I have never in my life did. I begain isolating myself from the world. No one could help me where I came more depressed where at 33 I started being involved in "risky behaviors" I wanted to be loved so much where I would do anything to be loved, even though it was against my personal religious beliefs. For eight years I was addictive to being loved and accepted sex as a substitute for that love. I was exploring my own identity and ready to take myself exploring to the next level, which involved spending time with men because other aspects of my life created feelings of isolation (Psychodynamic development (Newman & Newman 2012).

To relieve this guilt from "sin where I started drinking to the point to get drunk so that I would not remember and numb my guilt. I continued to have severe depression due to the guilt, and thought there was no forgiveness, or hope where I tempted suicide by overdosing with medication and vodka I wanted a way out. After being hospitalized for three days I returned home and started therapy and stop drinking. I then made a new direction with my life, I got certified as a Montessori Teacher after completing a two year program.

Middle Adulthood

Middle adulthood, age 35-60, the developmental tasks during middle adulthood: managing a career, nurturing an intimate relationship, expanding caring relationships, and managing the household. In this they have broad responsibilities for the, education, career and care of children. Erikson psychosocial crisis is generativity vs .stagnation (Newman & Newman 2012). . I worked as a teacher for preschoolers for five years then moved to Idaho help my sister out with her children, one who was born developmental delayed. I enjoyed working with him then when he started preschool I was not happy with my life because I had no skills I could use in Idaho where the only jobs in Idaho that I could work were fast food and convenient store. I began to be depressed where I started drinking again to the point I was drinking every night and passing out. I would have bruises and not remember how I got them where I entered a 30 day treatment center for my alcohol addiction. I couldn’t overcome by myself because when I tried to stop the withdraws were so severe where it became necessary for my normal functioning (Newman & Newman 2012). This gave me hope and a brighter future and a new direction in my life.

A year later in 2008 when I was 43, I enrolled in on on-line school for my bachelor’s degree in psychology with emphasis on applied behavior analysis. I work at daycares and elderly care until I graduated in 2010, then got a job as a Psycho-social Rehabilitation Rehabilitation (PSR). I eceived a master in addiction studies from the same online school. I could not get licensed with it this is why I started the Mental health program at argosy University.

Strengths and Coping skills

Newman & Newman (2012), states there are three situations to consider in understanding how a person copes when stressed. They are to ask why a person is stressed, how that person perceives it, and what resources they have to help. Each person copes different than one another and different within each situation. A person learns to cope the best way they can so they can carry on with their life in a health productive way. The coping skills I learned were not healthy ones. I learned early on in life from my parents negative coping skills (alcohol, avoidance, hitting). When I became an adult I coped by wanting to destroy myself, through depression to the point of attempting suicide. Having an eating disorder to handle my guilt of how I felt about self and body. Shortly after my rape as an adult I began drinking to cope with the guilt I felt and to deal with not being believed or protected. I did not know how to ask people for help where I totally internalize it. I tended to use alcohol as a way to cope when things are going wrong, when I am mad, when I don’t get A’s in school, if my boss or friends are angry. while I had a negative way to cope with disappoints, I believe I had many strengths that carried me through. The strengths I have are I have the determination to continue Won and never give up, even when things are bad. I think another strength I have is I am now able to ask for help when I need it before I get to the point of depression. I am willing to learn new things and able to share them with others. The strength I have today is I know who I can and cannot trust; I do not put myself in dangerous situations.

I did not go through some of Erikson’s psychosocial crisis at the age he suggested. According to Newman & Newman (2012), Trust vs. mistrust is from Infancy,birth to age one. I assume that I missed this stage all together due to the fact I could not trust. I had many things happen where I did not trust anyone. Things that happen that cause me not to trust is my aunt pulling my hair out, my dads abuse the person I babysat for and my adult rape. For many years I could not trust anyone this includes myself. I finally at middle adulthood is beginning to trust more than mistrust.

Autonomy vs. shame

and doubt

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